


Heartbreak and Death Threats

by Differentshadesofgrey



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: Angst, Death Threats, F/M, Gen, Heartbreak, Sad!Barba
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-17
Updated: 2019-08-17
Packaged: 2020-09-05 21:36:02
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,661
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20280187
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Differentshadesofgrey/pseuds/Differentshadesofgrey
Summary: Rafael Barba/ReaderPrompt: “Tell me you don’t love me. Say it.”Barba receives a troubling message. He decides he has to do whatever it takes protect you, even if that means breaking your heart, and his own, in the process.





	Heartbreak and Death Threats

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: Okay so.. this is the first thing I've written in a very long time and the first time I've shared something that I've written - like, ever. I saw the prompt on a list on tumblr and inspiration struck. This is a slightly revised version of the story that I originally posted over there. Sorry if the formatting is weird, I'm new to posting here. Im working on a second part (I'm a sucker for a happy ending) but I'm still undecided on wether it needs it or should be left as a stand alone piece so if you have an opinion feel free let me know. I'm a sensitive soul so I'd rather not hear it if you think it sucks, but constructive criticism is always welcome!

Rafael sat in his office going through the mountain of case files stacked there, when an envelope laying unopened on the edge of the desk caught his eye.

It was innocuous enough, a single plain white envelope, his first name written across the front in big capital letters, but the sight of it made him feel uneasy.

Cautiously, he stood to reach for it, tearing it open and tipping out the contents. Pictures spilled across his desk. Dozens of photographs, all of them of you. At work, at the gym, at his apartment. You, crossing the street, talking on the phone, eating lunch. And a note, handwritten, in the same blocky print as the front of the envelope. He picked it up, eyes scanning the words written there repeatedly, as if that would somehow change their contents.

It was a threat. Bold and gruesomely detailed.

Breathing hard, Rafael dropped the piece of paper as if it had burned him. He pushed away from his desk, turning his eyes away from the photos of you as the edges of his vision started to blur. His chest felt tight. This couldn't be happening.

He'd had his fair share of death threats of course, being a prosecutor - and a good one at that - it came with the territory. Most of them weren't worth taking seriously, a few angry words shouted by a defendant across a courtroom, vague anonymous emails and hang up calls. Recently though, things had ramped up a notch, what with the indictments of the police officers involved in the Terence Reynolds shooting and then the Munson case. The threats had become more frequent and much more specific in nature. But this, this was new.

Threatening his life was one thing, he could handle that. But threatening yours ... that was entirely different. He had to put a stop to it immediately.

Rafael's heart raced as he paced his office, desperately trying to come up with a solution.

He had no idea who was behind the threats but obviously they had been watching him, and you. Following you for weeks, possibly months. He cursed himself for putting you at risk, however unintentionally.

His pulse calmed as his mind drifted to you. The way your smile lit up a room and your eyes crinkled at the corners when you laughed, the teasing lilt to your voice when you made jokes at his expense; your determined, optimistic nature.

Rafael loved you with every fibre of his being.

He had never felt this deeply for anyone before, had never even wanted to. He had given up on love a long time ago. He thought he was happy with his life before he met you, if sometimes a little lonely. But he'd been wrong. You had brightened up his world in an instant, shown him what true happiness was and before he knew it, he had fallen for you. You were the best thing that had ever happened to him. Perfect and pure.

That was why he had to end things with you.

He would do anything to protect you. To keep you safe at all costs, and if that meant breaking his own heart in the process, well, that was a price he was willing to pay. He'd have to hurt you too, he knew, though it pained him to do it. He couldn't tell you the truth. You loved him. And you were stubborn, almost to a fault. You wouldn't let him go easily, wouldn't give up without a fight, he was sure of it. So, he'd have to be cruel to be kind. It would be worth it, to keep you out of danger. You might hate him, he told himself, but you'd be alive. And the anger you'd feel might help in the long run, help you move on, to someone new.

The thought of you with someone else made his heart clench painfully. But he loved you and he wanted you to be happy. Even if that wouldn't, couldn't be with him. And he would be alone and miserable, just like before. But at least then you would be safe. Yes, it was for the best.

He picked up his phone, quickly tapping out a message before he could change his mind _“Can you stop by my office on your way home? We need to talk.”_

————————-

You stood in the middle of Rafael's office, staring dumbly as he spoke. Blood rushed so loudly in your ears that you could barely hear what he was saying. Something about this not working out? You didn't understand. You had thought things were going well between you, but apparently he disagreed.

"I'm sorry," he said quietly. Arms folded across his chest and eyes fixed on the floor. "I should never have let things get this far. This never meant anything to me. You were just a distraction. A good fuck, nothing more."

You flinched at the profanity. You felt sick to your stomach, even as your mind yelled that this couldn't be for real. What had changed in the few hours since he kissed you goodbye this morning? Why would he say these awful things to you? You didn't believe a word of it and neither did he, you were sure. He was acting strangely, unable to meet your eyes. Something was wrong. "Why are you doing this?" You asked, feeling the prickle of tears. You stubbornly wiped them away before they could fall. "Tell me what this is really about."

He sighed, rolling his eyes up to the ceiling. "_Por Díos_... What aren't you getting?" He burst out angrily, "I don't **want** you anymore!"

You were silent, watching as he took several deep breaths, fingers pinching the bridge of his nose, clearly trying to reign in his temper. When he spoke again his voice was eerily calm, "It was fun for a while and now it's not," he continued in an icy cold tone, "I'm bored of you."

You moved closer to him, placing both of your hands on his chest in a pleading gesture. "That's not true." You told him with certainty. "I don't know what's going on here but I do know that you don't mean any of what you just said."

He laughed but the sound was bitter and cruel, there was no humour in it. "You don't _know_ anything." He said as he pushed your hands away, taking a step back.

You followed his movement and tried again. Reaching out to grasp his arms, you ducked your head, trying to make eye contact but he resolutely avoided your eyes.

"Rafi..." you began, but he cut you off "Don't call me that." He muttered harshly.

"Look at me," you demanded. His eyes stayed trained on their spot on the floor. "Look me in the eye and tell me that you don't love me. If you can do that, then maybe I'll believe you." Rafael remained silent, still staring downward. "Go on." You snapped "Say it!"

You saw his jaw clench, nostrils flaring as he exhaled, steeling himself. Then his eyes flicked up to meet yours for the first time since you'd entered his office. For a moment you caught a glimpse of emotion in those beautiful green eyes before it twisted into something hard and then his expression went perfectly blank, a composed mask slipping into place.

He hesitated, just for a second and then... "I don't." He lied, "I don't love you. I never did."

You stumbled a half step backwards as the force of his words hit you. You hadn't really believed he would be able to do it. You'd been convinced that he loved you, the way that you loved him. So absolutely sure. _How could you have been so wrong about him? _

You turned on your heel without another word, practically tripping over yourself in your haste to get out of his office, to get away from him. You all but ran from the room, slamming the door behind you.

You could not allow yourself to cry in front of him. You wouldn't give him the satisfaction of seeing your tears. He didn't deserve them.

You managed to get as far as the elevators before they started to fall.

————————-

Rafael watched you leave with a practiced air of forced indifference, even though everything in him was screaming at him to reach out for you. His heart ached to soothe the pain he saw written plainly on your face, pain he had caused. He wanted to drop to his knees and beg for forgiveness. To tell you that you were right, that he'd lied. That you were his soulmate, the love of his life. To take you in his arms and never let you go. But he didn't.

He was proud of himself. He'd managed to get through it, and he'd only wavered a little, when you'd forced him to meet your eyes.

He'd tried his best not to look at you at all. Partly because he'd been afraid that you'd see right through his act, but mostly because he wasn't sure he'd actually be able to go through with it if he looked you in the face. It was the hardest thing he'd ever done. But it was necessary.

Only after the door had slammed shut behind you did he allow himself to feel. To let it sink in that you were gone and you weren't ever coming back. _Dios mío, what had he done?!_

He slumped back against his desk and dropped his head into his hands, fighting against the feeling that he'd made a huge mistake. He tried to tell himself that he'd had no choice. It had to be done. It was the only way to be sure you'd be safe.

He repeated it over and over like a mantra in his head as his chest heaved and heavy sobs wracked his body.

Yes, it was for the best. No matter how much it hurt.


End file.
